Sleeplessness...

Insomnia. . . Tends to provoke thoughts of wisdom and words of delirium. Add a few glasses of wine and the truth reveals itself.

Truths about me:

*I absolutely LOVE to find beauty and life in everything. Not only that, but I feel the need to cherish it. Life is precious. Beauty is vain, yes, but recognizing in awe the beauty of what has been created by God for us is truly amazing.

*That being said, I'm sticking to the "Carpe Diem" theory. This may be your last day. Live it to the fullest and never hesitate to speak the truth

*I claim to be tough, which I believe to be true, but I do secretly like to be girly. I find pleasure in letting someone else massage me and pamper me. I like to wear heels because they make my legs look great. If i had them, I would wear skirts (with heels). I can't remember the last time i wore a skirt or dress!

*I long for close relationships with people. I have a few but tend to be very cautious as to who I allow to discover me.

*I have a heart for missions. I am not close to God as I once was but am working on rebuilding that relationship. My life changed when I was on that mission trip to Guatemala. I had gotten "saved" when I was 5. I said the prayer and believed it to be true but never really understood what it meant to be a follower of God until I was 16. It started as a lustful longing for a boy in my youth group. I raised money thinking that I was doing the right thing by wanting to be a missionary of my faith to people of another country but my whole goal was to go on a trip with this boy. I'm not sure I will ever be able to express what happened on this mission trip. It was by far the most amazing thing to have happen to me in my lifetime. Having my children was an experience but to see God work the way He did on this trip was life changing. To remember it is convicting in itself.

*Music is a big part of my life and always will be. I will return to my previous career as a professional musician someday. Someday soon.

*I love to listen to live music. Genre unspecified, as long as the musician(s) are competent in their field.

*I LOVE food and I love to eat! All of it, except bratwurst. Ugh!

*I am a romantic. I love being swept off my feet. I love catching my breath in a moment of ecstasy. And I love "special" things - no matter how small.

*If I had the means, I would take a day to shop and spend endless amounts of money.

*I want to go on a Caribbean cruise - very soon. Maybe next month.

*I am using this blog to find myself. Selfish, maybe, but I want to know myself. In the midst of 5 kids, husband, school, work. . . I want to be strong in my beliefs, my emotions, and my sanity.