Cabin Fever

It's 1:00am and the forecast still says 70 degrees! The changing season is giving me a terrible case of cabin fever. Subtle hints of spring flirt with my senses as the breeze tickles my skin, making me long for the warm nights and longer days. I dream of the sweet fragrant honeysuckle and dirt in my nails while gardening, playing outside until the fireflies lights glow and fade in the darkness, and the smell of a warm rain...

Oh my thoughts are a jumble tonight. So much on my mind... I have found this blog to be a place to organize my thoughts and express myself but at the same time I do not want this to become some depressing, for lack of a better term, bitch log.

Reluctantly I am going to end this blog with the day's events.

* I have decided to enroll Ethan and Alaina in school. I pray it is the right decision. Homeschooling is great and has worked out very well in all aspects, but timing seems right this year. My only fear is that they could lose their love for learning being "tied down". I have always loved and passionately believed in the three learning styles: audial, visual, and kinesthetic. I believe every student especially excells in one of those areas. Alternative learning in exploring, feeling, researching, and experiencing has been something I had wanted to pass onto the kids. There can be an excitement in learning something new and really digging into it. I guess I fear them losing the love.

* I have decided how to use my spending money from the tax return. I will have a concrete patio poured outside the front door in the courtyard area either done by myself or pay someone to do it, buy some patio furniture and plant my herbs in decorative pots. I will also plan a small getaway - with no kids or husband. I need some time. This year has been my crisis year, but not really in the sense of an actual crisis, more like a turning point. I am realizing who "I" am and finding myself. Sometimes it seems so selfish but other times I feel it's necessary to develop a strong sense of self to be a good mother and wife. I have lived to please other people my whole life and am just now learning to say no. It is exhilerating! There are so many more thoughts on this topic. I'm not really sure I'm ready to blog them all yet but I'm sure it will make for a good one later.

Sleep is calling me - finally...